31.12.15

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yet another year has gone by before our eyes, and it was a good one, at that. this year was both the greatest and the worst for me, but i'm glad everything happened all the same. i think i've finally found myself, my voice, the person i want to be and the blog i want to run. i've changed—but then again, haven't we all? it's been a whole year

12 months.

52 weeks.

365 days.

a lot can happen in 365 days.



although i've faced a lot of shit this year, incredible things was not something i was lacking. i've really befriended some amazing people on here, two of which make my world especially bright. those of you who've stuck with me through thick and thin never fail to make me smile, and i've gotten to a point where my photography actually means something, which, here in the comm, is a quality one's photos do not always possess. i'd like to think i'm my own person on here at last, and that people are slowly learning to cope with my difficult personality, but reality is that i'll never know for sure.

in the early months of 2015, i was in eighth grade—my final year in middle school, the last step before high school. those last few months in that hellhole school were honestly some of the greatest of my life, and eighth grade was by far my favorite. saying goodbye to all the memories in that school, including starting this blog (in the spring of my seventh grade year) and finding my love for dolls once again, was tough for me. the summer of 2015 was—how do i put it—let's just say it wasn't the best. my blog was slowly but surely going downhill, and people i thought were my friends on here left me because i wasn't who they wanted me to be. i felt horrible. like a letdown. but instead of actually trying to work things out, i just spit out angry, unjustified rant posts practically every week, then threw together apology posts that i honestly meant to be genuine, but i just sounded like i wanted attention.

finally, it all became too much, and i left. well, "left" is a strong word. we'll say i took the first break from blogging i had ever taken.

that was pretty tough, too, but i needed it. i needed to sort out my thoughts, to rethink my blog— rethink my future. i was starting high school, and that was a change i never knew would be so f*cking hard. i still took photos and in all honesty, i still made posts. but i never posted them, and probably never will. but they're still drafts, and they were my way of keeping myself sane. a few of those were actually published, and when i got comments on those i remembered what kept me here in the first place.

in october, i decided that i would slowly come back through a series of watered-down, easy to write reviews to get back into the swing of things.

in november, my signature one-photo lyric posts came back and honestly, i never felt better. i had made my mistakes and learned the hard way that things change, and those changes can be hard, but you'll get through it.

december came around and things were finally looking up—i had regained some of the followers i had lost and had begun writing christmas themed photo stories that made both me and my readers happy.

although i've hit my fair share of lows, 2015 was a year i will never forget. it was an adventure, and i am ever so thankful for the opportunity to experience all that i did this year.

2016 will be different for dollsonmymind, but sometimes change is good. i know this change will be good. thank you, all my lovely, sassy flamingos, for sticking with me this year. those who have come and gone, i will always remember you, and you'll forever hold a special place in my heart even if you don't give a crap about me.

so let's cheers to this...another year. and look at us—we made it. *raises glass*

-maddie

29.12.15

{changing all the colors}


i'm throwing away pictures
that i never should've taken in the first place.
and it's cold in my apartment
as i'm changing all the colors
from the brightest reds to grays.

~

i thought we could use another before domm doesn't see these again.

-m

28.12.15

christmas with the crew || christmas morning


"alright, alright, everyone settle down!" julie called out as the crew settled in on christmas morning. some were still in pajamas, others had dressed for the occasion (or, in lanie's case, were simply dressed), but they were all there, a mis-matched bunch of noisy vinyl girls ready to see who their secret santa was.


"okay, this year we're going to open up gifts one at a time from newest member to the oldest member, not including me," jules stated. "so archer, you can get your gift first."


all the girls looked anxiously under the tree, searching for the gift with their name on it.


archer pulled her gift over carefully and unwrapped it slowly.

"oh my gosh!!" she exclaimed.


in her hand she held her very own polaroid camera—a yellow one.

scarlette smiled. "that was from me. merry christmas, i hope this was a good first one for you!"

archer jumped up and hugged scarlette. "eee, thank you! i love it!"


indie went next.

"literally you could've given me this tissue paper and i would've been happy," she said as she eyed the shiny paper. "very nice."


she pulled out the gift from inside and held it up. "ooo, a pair of cat ears! i've been wanting one!"

"this was from me, indie," ali said with a grin. "i'm really glad you like it!"

"thanks, ali," indie said. "you're the best."


"your turn, emery," juliet said.

emerson looked at chrissa with a sideways grin. "i bet i'll never guess who was assigned to me this year."

chrissa glared at her. "go on."


"hOLY SH—"

julie cut her off. "keep it clean, emerson," she scolded.

emery cleared her throat. "holy crap, it's a fREAKING DARYL POP! FIGURINE I'M GOING TO CRY IT'S BEAUTIFUL. AND A NEW CHOKER HALLELUJAH."

chrissa relented and smiled. "i didn't want to risk getting you  a shirt you already had, so i took the hot topic employee's advice and just got you the little daryl."

"i am in love, chris—thank you."


emerson looked to jade. "your turn, my friend!"

jade gently picked up the gift labelled 'jade' and unwrapped it oh-so carefully.


"oh, a new wallet!" jade smiled sweetly.

lanie's eyes lit up. "you like it? i had no idea what to get and was running out of time an—"

"i love it, thank you lanie," jade giggled.


"now you, scarlette," julie said.

scarlette picked up her gift. "wow, impressive wrap job."


"ooo, nice, a new set of watercolors! i needed this!" she exclaimed happily.

kanani piped up. "i was hoping that's the one you needed a replacement of."

"it was, thanks ana!"


"go ahead, ali," juliet laughed. ali was waiting [impatiently] to open her gift.


"A POLAROID?? AND GUMMY BEARS?"

jade laughed. "i saw the way you looked at scarlette picking out a polaroid for archer—i'd have to be blind in order to not get that you wanted one of your own."

"bless you," ali said as she cradled the polaroid and popped a gummy bear into her mouth. 

"tu es fou," jade said to herself.


"you're up next, kanani," jade told her friend.


"aw, my favorite candy!"

lissie turned to ana. "that's just a little extra—your real gift is that you and i are going to sponsor a baby monk seal!"

kanani gasped. "oh, lissie! you remembered!"


kanani passed felicity her gift.


"aw, a new pearl bracelet—it's gorgeous!" she smiled.

"i'm glad you like it, fel," indie said.

"thank you, indie! this is so sweet."


ali tossed her friend a gift. "for you, miss holland."


lanie dug through the tissue paper to find a little plush husky. "ooooooh, it looks just like pepper!"

archer giggled. "that's the point—i've been watching you play with him out back for a while now, i thought maybe you'd like a little pepper to keep on your bed or something."

pepper barked. "good idea, thanks," lanie laughed.


"alright, last but not least is chrissa," lanie announced.

the girls could tell she was silently running through everyone who had already given a gift in her head. "wait, are you saying that..."


"emerson, you did not," chrissa gasped as she looked down at the chambray skirt she'd been eyeing for months.

emery gave one of her signature smug grins. "oh, i so did."

"but how did you—?"

"unlike someone i know, i can actually keep a secret and figure out what one of my room mates would like."

chrissa blushed. "well, uh...anyways, there are still two gifts left—one from j and one from megan."


"you can open the one from j, ali," julie said. ali tore through the festive paper.


"oh my gosh, dan and phil playing cards. that is actually the COOLEST thing i've ever seen!" ali exclaimed as she laid out the gift.


and the final gift of the day was from megan.

"archer and indie, you two can open it since it's your first christmas with all of us," emery said.


"ee, socks, tights, and a clipboard! those are so cute!" indie exclaimed.

"i can't wait to start putting outfits together with those, and writing down ideas on the notepad," archer said excitedly.


"well, i think that's it!" julie stated. "merry christmas everyone."


and with that, the first christmas as a true family had concluded. until next year...

~

okay first a few things:
      -i am VERY sorry this is so late, i've been unexpectedly busy these past few days and just couldn't find the time to write this out.
      -i really hope you enjoyed, and thank you to j and megan for the gifts for the crew! we all appreciate it. :))
      -this will probably be the last photo story this length for a while, so savor it kids.

actually, scratch that third one. i've been thinking for a while now, and i've come up with a solution for what i see my problem to be. you guys like when i do photo stories, you guys hate when i do random rant/insights to my life posts, so beginning in the new year, dollsonmymind will exclusively be a photo story and sewing blog. no more single photo posts—that will be on my other blog that i haven't told you guys about oops 'on the other side of the lens'. so hopefully domm will become the kind of blog it used to be, and for those of you who do still want to see my photography, there will be a place for that where only those who want it can see it so that domm pleases more viewers.

i'm actually quite satisfied with this decision, and through christmas with the crew, i've discovered how much i love sharing my dolls' personalities with you guys, since you don't really get to see that unless you go read their bios.

so, what do you all think? is it a good idea? are you excited? i know i am. ;)

-m

25.12.15

what i got for christmas || 2015

hey guys, merry christmas!! since last year i got pretty good feedback on my 'what i got for christmas' post, i decided to do one again this year. :) just a fair warning, i did not get any major doll items, so if you don't want to see human items, i don't recommend you read this post. :)

DISCLAIMER: i am not at all trying to brag or show off the items i received this year, i'm extremely grateful for everything and do know the real meaning of christmas (both the religious background and the fact that it's a time to spend time with family, though in my fam {obvi} we celebrate it more for the second reason, seeing as i'm athiest and my mom is agnostic).

whelp, i hope you all enjoy seeing what i got. ^-^

~


FRIENDS


from my friend erika i got this adorable peanuts mug with hershey kisses inside, plus a candy cane and a cute little snoopy. <3


from my friend emily i got some cookies, some [really f*cking good] chocolate covered pretzels, sour patch kids, and some candy canes.


from megan i got some peppermint bark, black doll tights (!), two pairs of knee socks (!!), a little clipboard, some tiny pens, a notebook, and a $25 hot topic gift card.

**not pictured**
j gave me a handmade sws poster and i love it. ^-^


from my friend grace i received this mayday parade shirt. nice nice.


and finally, from my friend kaitlin i received a keychain (inside joke) and a sws shirt.

FAMILY


from my grandparents on my mom's side i got two flannels and two pairs of black skinny jeans.


from my aunt, uncle, and cousins on my mom's side i got these maroon vans. O.o


then, from both of the family members just mentioned, i got two itunes gift cards. love.


from my parents i got these andrew smith books (i love his writing more than i can put into words and i'm sooooo excited to read stick and 100 sideways miles, as well as owning my own copies of winger and stand off)


also from my parents i just got a new bathrobe, hairties, and a hairbrush because i genuinely needed a replacement for all of these. xD


again from my parents, i got these black vans and i love them. :}



then i got a pair of fun egg & bacon socks, along with two pairs of boot socks (one of which is on me right now)


i got a new charcoal gray neff beanie which i love. (neff beanies are the only beanies that fit me right haha)


and my biggest gift of this year was my doc martens!!
i love them more than i love myself tbh. they're like, really super comfy and eeek!!!


^^misc. stocking stuffers^^

**not pictured**
from my grandparents on my dad's side i got $100 to put towards my camera fund.
from my great-grandparents i got $35.
i see my aunt, uncle and cousin on my dad's side either tomorrow or sunday, i probably won't update this post though but i just thought i'd mention. xD

aaaaaaand that's about it!

~

it feels weird not having anything doll related this year, but at the same time i really don't have space for any more stuff. my little cousin (the one with isabelle and caroline from last year) got myag 25 this year (who she named charlotte) and she is aDORable, so you can probably expect photos of charlotte sometime soon. ^-^ also i'm having some doll jealousy, so there may be a new member of the crew coming home in the next few months. xD we'll see though. i'd have to go through all my current stuff and get rid of a lot in order for that to happen, and i'm really lazy. but anyways.

TODAY EMERSON IS A YEAR OLD AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COPE.
also jules is seven, chrissa is six, lissie is five, ali is four, and scarlette is two my babies are getting so old

whelp, i hope you all had a lovely day. sorry i sound really awkward in this post, i'm kinda rushing through it since i have family over and stuff, but i wnted to get a post up since i'm pushing the last episode of christmas with the crew off until tomorrow because i just didn't have time.

MURRY CHRISTMUK, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, I LOVE YOU, YOU SASSY, BEAUTOFUL FLAMINGOS. 

until next time,
mads

24.12.15

christmas with the crew || remembering christmases passed


"oh my god, that's what you guys looked like in 2013?" emerson laughed while pointing at an old group photo.

julie nodded. "unfortunately, yes."

lanie was practically in tears. "look at my hair!" she said in between bursts of laughter.


"oh my," ali said with a straight face. "what the actual hell was i wearing."


lissie smiled. "i remember  posing in front of the Christmas tree in that dress. the memories..."



"i guess we've hit christmas 2013! maddie was obSESSED," scarlette said as they pulled out photos of scar when she first arrived.


"oh yeah, that was when maddie thought she could take nice outdoor photos. man was she wrong. those damn twelve year olds," lanie giggled.


emerson put her hands over her eyes. "NOPE NOPE NOPE I'M DONE THIS WAS ACTUALLY PAINFUL. I'M GLAD I CAME AFTER THIS."

and with that, the crew put away the christmas photo album and begun preparing for tomorrow.

~

haha i had zero time to take pictures for a real photo story today so instead i just had the girls react to old photos taken around christmas of '13 and '14. painful, huh? see you guys tomorrow, have a lovely christmas eve!

-m