30.6.15

the strays {a photo shoot}


~

song is "the strays" by sleeping with sirens.
you guys must think i'm obsessed with them--
it's just that they actually have songs that are
a.) clean
b.) have a good message behind them.

so here we go again. ;)

~

hubcaps and ashtrays,
i was born
but wasn't raised.
the big wheel,
the black space,
tried my best
but wasn't praised.


hell is so close to heaven,
hell is so close to heaven.


hold on, don't look back,
you know we're better, we're better than that.
lost and thrown away,
you know we're better, we're better than that.


we are
the strays.
we are
the strays.


train tracks to the stage,
play that role,
the one you made.
long nights and the worst days,
lived it all,
but i didn't break.


hell is so close to heaven,
hell is so close to heaven.


hold on, don't look back,
you know we're better, we're better than that.
lost and thrown away,
you know we're better, we're better than that.


we are
the strays.
we are
the strays.


my whole life they said i'd be nothing,
but i'm something.
and i'd rather be the stray then be
nothing to no one at all.


hubcaps and ashtrays,
i was born
but wasn't raised.


hold on, don't look back,
you know we're better, we're better than that.
lost and thrown away,
you know we're better, we're better than that.
we are
the strays.

we are the strays.

~

lol they're so orange.
ew.
i apologize. i'd edit them but laziness prevails once more.

~

heeeellllooo everybody. so i kinda wanna explain this shoot i guess? first, i'll give you the meaning of the song in kellin's words:

"This is about being misunderstood but embracing the fact that that's okay. A lot of the kids that come to our shows are perhaps not 'the norm'--I consider them to be unique in many different ways. It's to do with defiance and self-confidence.You can be whoever you want to be happy and comfortable in that knowledge."

for those of you who don't know (which i doubt any of you do), in the crew, ali has always been picked on by the others (excluding lanie, of course) for being different. ali's a bit crazy, a bit weird, just you know--out there. but she's also very self confident. she's her own person and isn't afraid to speak her mind, and that usually causes the others to pick on or mock her. same goes for emery. when she first came, they all knew that she was gonna be a bit annoying (though as you all know, scarlette is very good friends with em, just like ali and lanie)--she's my little band girl, music is her life, but she has a good heart, and she doesn't mean to be annoying and/or come across as rude at times. she's also bi--that earned some beating on, as well, obviously. but she, too, is very self confident and is happy with who she is, despite the other girls telling her otherwise.

lil disclaimer: the other girls aren't horrible lasses, oh no, they're all sweet in their own ways, but they're like people--they're programmed to dislike those who are different. they're like siblings, they pick fights and the like.

back to the explanation--so recently ali and emerson came together and realized that despite most of the others trying to tear them down and/or change them, they decided that they'd rather please themselves than build themselves to someone else's standards.

so yup.
there are reasons why those two are my favorites.
they've got a story, a purpose. they're like real people. :]

hope you enjoyed this little shoot and getting to know the personal lives of two of my girls, i'll be doing more shoots like this that give you guys a better look at who my dolls are and what goes on with them. see ya!

-maddie

26.6.15

{freak show}



i am a circus freak
caught in a cage, caught in a cage.
staring without a blink
swallow me whole, swallow me whole.

i am a circus freak
cut out my heart, cut out my heart.
loveless and watch me bleed
tear me apart, tear me apart.

~

i post too frequently.

anyways, step right up folks to meet the one, the lonely, circus freak.
told you it was a lyric reference.

-maddie

25.6.15

AGPC winner(s?) & indie


so this is it.

the winner of AGPC--the last round, probably ever.

remember, the winner doesn't exactly get anything for winning, just a shout-out.

oh, and yes.

yes i am stalling.

I WANT THE SUSPENSE TO KILL. i like to stall.

also i don't want people to be able to see who won by just looking at the snippet that shows up in their feed. i'm evil i know.

so uh, we actually have to winners, both tied with 9 votes each.

who are they, you ask?


well, they're both very talented young ladies that have been hard-working participants.

what, that doesn't give anything away?

everyone that participated was great?

my bad. ;)

are you dying yet?

hmm?

i'm laughing at how annoying this is gonna be.

aaaaand now i realized that most people are just gonna scroll down until they see the names.

guess i should just call it quits here, huh?

k.

the winners of AGPC are...

drumroll ple--*realizes how freaking annoying this is*

ALRIGHT I GIVE UP.

GWEN AND KAITLYN WIN.

CONGRATULATIONS.

EVERYONE THAT ENTERED THIS YEAR WAS FABULOUS.

I LOVED SEEING ALL THE PHOTOS. ^_^

and that concludes AGPC.

~

whelp, that happened.

so sorry.

tbh i'm glad to get agpc off my chest--i kinda wanna restart my blog (not like, delete any posts are anything, but start posting more lyric shoots and less update and rant-y type posts. photography is the reason i'm here, so that's what you're going to find from now on) and agpc just kinda clogged up my feed. not saying that i didn't love it though, because i did. ;)

congrats again to gwen and kaitlyn, and well done to everyone that entered in the first place!

i might possibly have a tiny little shoot up later or something idk.

see ya!

-maddie

22.6.15

the grand finale {a mini-shoot}



song by (the one, the lonely) set it off
yes, "the one, the lonely" is a sio lyric reference most of you (probably none of you) understand.
soz.
i just felt the need to include it.

~






while finding shelter for the end,
they begin reflecting on everything,
i mean everything,
of the life they spent till then.
as smoke and ash fall from the sky,
so surreal they hold on to anything,
i mean anything,
hoping life won't pass them by.
non-existing answers,
we are now condemned
my friend,


this is the end.

~

mhm, this song is about the end of the world.

mhm, em and jules were experiencing "the end" during the shoot.
(not really, believe me, we're all still alive and well here)

mhm, i used only a snippet of the song.

mhm, i like it.

~

i just wanted to say that even though i don't always comment, i always read your posts, guys. :) i'm just busy (read: lazy) and don't always have time.

until next time...

-maddie

oh, by the way, i posted this on my google+, but i'm curious as to what you guys know. ;) do it if you want.


21.6.15

different but the same {what's going on}


















~

just some boring head shots to tide you over.

~

so i bet a few of you are wondering what i've decided to do.

well, my friends, i'll tell you.

i'm going to stay--now, before you get excited or anything, let me finish. i'm going to stay for now. if anything happens that ticks me off again, and it doesn't have to be something directed towards me personally (in fact, if it's something that happens to one of my friends then you better believe i'm gonna be mad, even more upset than i would be had it been towards me), i'm leaving. no questions asked. i'm just gonna go with nothing more than a (probably ticked) goodbye post.

so yeah, things are gonna be different, but i'm still the same maddie, so please don't start acting differently (unless it's to correct the way you've acted in the past).

expect to see another lyric shoot either tonight or tomorrow.

-maddie

18.6.15

low {a photo shoot}



song by sleeping with sirens
lyric shoots by the oh-so brilliant adi

~


should i use my heart or my head?
i wish that i could just replay the thoughts of things i never said.
should i use my heart or my head?
i wish that i could just turn back the time or start over again.


but if we're laying it on the line this time,
i better say this now.


you make me feel low,
don't make me feel low.
cause i've tried so hard to convince myself
it's okay that i feel this way.
you make me feel low,
don't make me feel low.
if i can't have you i'd be by myself,
cause you know i need you so.
don't make me,
don't make me
feel low.


so tell me why did it take
twenty-six years to figure out how to love,
just to throw it all away?
maybe if you'd been a little bit smarter,
maybe if you tried hard enough
i wouldn't question why i shouldn't stay.


you expect me to come back around,
you better show me that you've changed.


you make me feel low,
don't make me feel low.
cause i've tried so hard to convince myself
it's okay that i feel this way.
you make me feel low,
don't make me feel low.
if i can't have you i'd be by myself,
cause you know i need you so.
don't make me,
don't make me.


don't make me walk out the door,
don't you throw it away.
don't make me,
don't make me.
cause i'm leaving for good
and i'm not coming back again.


when i said it was over i meant it,
but now i can't let you go.
but still i can't accept that
you make me feel so,
you make me feel so low.


you make me feel low,
don't make me feel low.
cause i've tried so hard to convince myself
it's okay that i feel this way.
you make me feel low,
don't make me feel low.
if i can't have you i'd be by myself
cause you know i need you so.


you make me feel low,
don't make me feel so.
cause i've tried so hard to convince myself
it's okay that i feel this way.
you make me feel low,
don't make me feel low.
if i can't have you i'd be by myself
cause you know i need you so,
you know i need you so.

~

this song wasn't chosen randomly out of a hat, lads.

there's a reason.

and that reason is because i'm so, so close to being done. not because i don't like dolls. god, not at all like that. i love my dolls to pieces. and photography, too. and no matter what, i do love you guys, too. but lately i've felt like crap being on here.

and i'm this close to just packing my things and getting the heck out of here.

i can't be myself on here, no matter what i say i'm gonna do and no matter how hard i try. my blog is slowly becoming your blog. what i like posting you guys don't, who i am is someone none of you want to accept, and i'm sick of it. just sick of it. i came here to be myself, not feel like a prisoner. i'm sorry i don't use exclamation points a lot. i'm sorry i don't always post cute little pictures of my dolls in bright colors and pigtails. i'm sorry i don't have bright and uplifting photo stories. i'm sorry i like bands. i'm sorry i come across as a pessimistic teenager that hates everyone. i'm sorry, okay? is that what you want? an apology? then there ya go. do with it what you will.

i try to tell myself that it's okay that i feel trapped and limited to only certain kinds of posts and pictures, songs i use for shoots, and so on. but in reality, no one, and i mean no one, should have to feel this way. ha, i probably come across as ridiculously rude in this post. sorry about that, too.

i'm sorry about everything, really.

i want you all to know that i really don't want to leave--i love blogging, and it has become a very important part of my life over this past year or so. maybe a break would do me good? not sure i'd make it through a break though. i'd miss it too much. without this blog, i'd be nothing.

but with this blog, i'm nothing, too. there just isn't a happy medium. huh?

know that it certainly isn't every one of you that's made me feel like this over time. maybe none of you even did anything and i'm just a sensitive peasant. who knows?

it could easily be the latter.

but regardless, i'm seriously considering leaving. i'm just not sure how much longer i can deal with this. again, no matter what i love you guys, this just had to be said.

-maddie

if you want to talk to me personally, you can email me at meganandmaddieag@gmail.com.

qotd: have you ever felt trapped?