31.12.15

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yet another year has gone by before our eyes, and it was a good one, at that. this year was both the greatest and the worst for me, but i'm glad everything happened all the same. i think i've finally found myself, my voice, the person i want to be and the blog i want to run. i've changed—but then again, haven't we all? it's been a whole year

12 months.

52 weeks.

365 days.

a lot can happen in 365 days.



although i've faced a lot of shit this year, incredible things was not something i was lacking. i've really befriended some amazing people on here, two of which make my world especially bright. those of you who've stuck with me through thick and thin never fail to make me smile, and i've gotten to a point where my photography actually means something, which, here in the comm, is a quality one's photos do not always possess. i'd like to think i'm my own person on here at last, and that people are slowly learning to cope with my difficult personality, but reality is that i'll never know for sure.

in the early months of 2015, i was in eighth grade—my final year in middle school, the last step before high school. those last few months in that hellhole school were honestly some of the greatest of my life, and eighth grade was by far my favorite. saying goodbye to all the memories in that school, including starting this blog (in the spring of my seventh grade year) and finding my love for dolls once again, was tough for me. the summer of 2015 was—how do i put it—let's just say it wasn't the best. my blog was slowly but surely going downhill, and people i thought were my friends on here left me because i wasn't who they wanted me to be. i felt horrible. like a letdown. but instead of actually trying to work things out, i just spit out angry, unjustified rant posts practically every week, then threw together apology posts that i honestly meant to be genuine, but i just sounded like i wanted attention.

finally, it all became too much, and i left. well, "left" is a strong word. we'll say i took the first break from blogging i had ever taken.

that was pretty tough, too, but i needed it. i needed to sort out my thoughts, to rethink my blog— rethink my future. i was starting high school, and that was a change i never knew would be so f*cking hard. i still took photos and in all honesty, i still made posts. but i never posted them, and probably never will. but they're still drafts, and they were my way of keeping myself sane. a few of those were actually published, and when i got comments on those i remembered what kept me here in the first place.

in october, i decided that i would slowly come back through a series of watered-down, easy to write reviews to get back into the swing of things.

in november, my signature one-photo lyric posts came back and honestly, i never felt better. i had made my mistakes and learned the hard way that things change, and those changes can be hard, but you'll get through it.

december came around and things were finally looking up—i had regained some of the followers i had lost and had begun writing christmas themed photo stories that made both me and my readers happy.

although i've hit my fair share of lows, 2015 was a year i will never forget. it was an adventure, and i am ever so thankful for the opportunity to experience all that i did this year.

2016 will be different for dollsonmymind, but sometimes change is good. i know this change will be good. thank you, all my lovely, sassy flamingos, for sticking with me this year. those who have come and gone, i will always remember you, and you'll forever hold a special place in my heart even if you don't give a crap about me.

so let's cheers to this...another year. and look at us—we made it. *raises glass*

-maddie

17 comments:

  1. *raises glass*
    To another fabulous year of domm, and your always inspiring, always gorgeous posts! You were such a big part of my 2015, and honestly, I can't thank you enough. I'll cherish the countless jokes and meaningful words forever. I can't tell you how much it meant to me to know that you were there, always supporting me, no matter what I chose to do throughout the year. Thank you for a fabulous year, love. May the next one be just as wonderful. <3
    xx Adi

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    1. words cannot explain how much knowing you has impacted me this year, magma. <3 i could say the same about you, having you there by my side (both supporting me and even if you didn't say anything, keeping me in check) these past few months has honestly meant the world. i still laugh until tears start rolling down my face whenever i hear someone mention 'light up shoes', and just seeing your name brightens my day. thank //you// for a fabulous year, i hope 2016 is everything you want and more. <3

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  2. Oh my goodness this was beautiful. <3

    ~J

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    1. thank you so much, jenni. <3

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  3. How do you put a whole year into words like this? I certainly cannot.
    Maddie... you are a wonderful person, even though I didn't exactly think you were at first. You are so amazing because you are, well, you! I wish I could be myself as easily as you can, and inspire people like you do. Seriously, that's just it. If I could use 1 word to describe you, that's what it would be, INSPIRING! Please continue to inspire people and let your true self shine through in 2016.
    -Tenley

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    1. you're a lovely, genuine person as well, tenley, and i am very grateful to have met you this year. <3 thanks for always staying you no matter what. ^-^

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  4. I'm so, so proud of you and everything you've done this year. You're honestly so amazing and I really really really don't know where I'd be if I hadn't emailed you about that custom order in the winter. 2016 is going to be even better. I LOVE YOU!
    *also you SURVIVED MARCHING BAND

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    1. awe, thank you so much leah. <333 i love you too!!
      oh man it was tough but wE SURVIVED IT TOGETHER. hopefully the 2016-2017 season is as good, or better than, this year. ;)

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  5. wow, Maddie. I can't believe that you put 2015 into those words. we've both hit our share of lows (except mine was on my old blog), but we survived this year, and that's all that matters. you're a great person, Maddie, and, well..... I'm out of words to say now. but, yeah. hopefully 2016 is a good year for you.

    -Kelsi :)

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  6. First of all, love the photo, as always.
    Secondly - *raises glass* here's to another year of fighting tough battles and coming out victorious.
    Another year of self-discovery and growth.
    And another year of amazing blog posts and photography.
    *clinks glass* happy 2016, babe. hope it's good to you <3

    - Ellie
    http://ontheothersideofrealitynew.blogspot.com

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  7. Happy New Year!
    Cheers to you in all you have accomplished and all you will in the new year.
    Your photos always inspire me and right now I realize how crappy mine have become stepping back to the old camera when my A1400 lens broke. Keep being true to you and posting what makes you happy.
    ~Xyra

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  8. ahh Maddie, you've come so far this year! happy 2016! hope it's a good one!

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  9. Hi Maddie.
    I was wondering if you could help me out. You see, I'm losing followers. Faster than I'm gaining them. I lost 3 this week. Am I doing something wrong? I'm trying to make my blog enjoyable... I really am. Is there something I need to fix? What do you think?
    -Tenley

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    1. hey tenely. :)
      oh, i'm sorry, i know how much that stings—just remember that you didn't lose 8 in less than a day. ;) but honestly, the only advice i can give to you is be smart about the way to carry yourself in situations where you lose a lot. don't be like me and spit out rants, in fact don't even address the problem at all—chances are the people that unfollowed were just people that had left and their account had only then shut down. from what i can tell, you are doing a great job running your blog and if someone doesn't want to follow, that's 100% their loss. but remember, it is totally okay to be upset about it, just don't be stupid like me. that'll just cause more people to leave. (and for the record, i haven't gained a follower in so long i don't even remember the last time my number went up instead of down. xD)

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  10. I have a little post request, but of course you don't have to do it. :)
    I was reading Chrissa's bio and I think it would be super cool if you did a photostory based around her dream of becoming an actress, and her stage fright! That would be really neat.

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    1. good idea! i've been lacking inspiration for photo stories, so thanks. :)) should be up sometime this weekend then!

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    2. Ooh yay! I'm excited! Thank you!

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